No LYING for VIEWS!!!!
Sep 6, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Orbj6Pt8LL0

hey you guys and welcome back to my
channel today is Thursday September 5th
oh my gosh it is already September 5th
like I cannot believe it is already
first of all I can't believe we're in
September's second of all I can't
believe we're already on the 5th of
September um today was a very long day
well the last couple of days have
actually been kind of long so most of
you guys know that I had my procedure
done a couple days ago from the hospital
to place my IUD and also do a little bit
of checking around in there while they
had the ultrasound up inside and
everything seemed to be fine and I had a
little bit of spotting start when I got
home and that has just continued to get
heavier which I assume but that's kind
of normal no real great concern but
since Monday more on Thursday so since
Monday I started getting like this
really bad sharp almost feels like a
gasps pain but it's not and it's down in
my lower abdominal area and it is KO'ing
from like my area and it feels like it's
a knife jabbing all the way up and
earlier this morning I was sitting at
the table eating some breakfast with
Olli and I shot back and just kind of
like I held my breath and he's like oh
my god what's wrong and I'm like I
couldn't even actually I couldn't even
speak at first because I was in so much
pain and that's just not like me I mean
I've got a fairly high tolerance in pain
so to be in pain like that it's not very
normal for me it's just not and so I
told him I said honey I for some reason
I keep getting these sharp having pains
but they're coming from like damn yonder
shooting upwards
it hurts really bad and then when I
stand up my lower abdominal area it
feels like it's just ripping out of me
so I called the doctors cuz I've been
trying to dill just deal with it but the
pain seems to be getting worse so I went
ahead and called the doctor today and
he's out so they are sending him a
message to see if it's normal if there's
something that I need to be doing she
told me just to take some ibuprofen and
some Tylenol and hope it gets better and
then also an update on my burn so I
found out that my burns were second and
third-degree burns out so I've been on a
triple point Minh antibiotic cream the
pain is totally fine like I mean it's a
little sore if you like push up against
it cuz they're still pretty big sized
blisters that I have not yet to come
near trying to pop so they're just
sitting there kind of idle probably
waiting to be popped or something I
don't know I have no idea what they're
gonna do but the the one that's the
third-degree part that's a hole actually
like my skin is like my raw meat type is
showing it's starting to glisten the
gleason glisten I don't know what that's
called but where it's it's starting to
grow a little bit of like a scab over it
not all the way but just a little bit so
there's a little bit more healing that
needs to happen there my hands are
totally fine my blisters are all popped
and gone for my fingers so yeah that's
that's that and then oh yes today sorry
I went and I renewed my license oh my
gosh I cannot believe that it's already
that time where I have to renew
everything so I win did that today
and then we went and ran to Costco went
and got a couple things that we needed
to pick up before all he goes back to
work tomorrow I have a pretty big
shopping haul I'm gonna have to do
tomorrow cuz it's my monthly like my
monthly shopping but I've been doing a
lot of like mill like mill how do you
call that mill studying or mill not meal
prepping because I'm not prepping the
food yet I guess I'm prepping to go buy
those stuff to prep it I guess I guess
if that's what it is that's what it said
um anyways so I'm gonna go tomorrow I'm
making my list tonight and I'm just
gonna get like fresh turkey meats not
the sandwich well I mean it is sandwich
cut but it's from the deli so it's fresh
actual roll just cut off of a turkey I
want to get some turkey meat and then
I'll bring it home and I'll cut it up so
that I can have that for solids and then
also get some vegetables that I can
steam throughout the day for some Mills
I'm really lost out what to have for
like lunches lunches are my hardest part
because lunches I'm kind of on my own if
that makes any sense because nobody's
here besides the kid the babies and
they'll eat anything I feed them so I
just don't know what to make for me that
I'll feed them as well that's really
healthy I mean I guess you could make
anything like fish or whatever I mean
whatever you want to cook I guess it
wouldn't make a difference whether I'm
making it for lunch or dinner but anyway
so I'm gonna get a whole bunch of just
fresh produce not really a lot of fruit
I mean maybe a little bit but not a lot
because the kids like a few fruits I'm
not a big eater on fruits because of the
sores that it causes in my mouth but I
love vegetables
my babies do and my is starting to try
so anyways I'm gonna do that tomorrow
but I did get something today from
Walmart I was gonna show you really
quick I'm trying to branch out there a
little bit you guys well I got these two
things from my school because well I
don't know how I accidentally forgot to
get these and send these with him but I
did so that was for him um anyways so
when I was at Walmart today I did get
where is anyways so I grabbed a few
they're playing their dads out there
entertaining them anyways so I got me
some oh well its eyeliner but it's
coffee
I don't okay so I accidentally picked up
the wrong eyeliner it was supposed to be
black but it's coffee and I so I'm gonna
take that back cuz i don't like brown i
picked up two different eyeshadow
brushes why I picked up two I have
absolutely no idea
this one was 93 cents this one was two
dollars I had no idea why I picked up
two of the same thing just different
brands picked up a thing of a shadow and
I love these colors they're so pretty
and then I got me some mascara just in
black and this one is supposed to be
mega mega length and my eyes my mom I
burped are my my the hell are these
called my eyelashes eyelashes need an
extra push to make them thicker and
longer and then I got from hard candy
it's called instant sparkle all over
drops dizzily dazzling coconut Sparkle
just glow I don't know if you can let me
see I open it
oh so the top has like a little thing
you push it and then you can put it like
on a Oh what would you call it a like a
sponge maybe and then just like put it
on your face for some facial sparkles it
says to shake really well so anyways I
just got a few little items for my um
makeup because ya know as you all know
most of you know I don't wear makeup but
I'd like to have a few things of makeup
so I could feel a little bit girly and
then I also picked up this and why I
picked this up is because I am going to
be writing in here all of the different
eye recipes that Ollie is telling me
showing me not telling me but showing me
how to make so I will add them into this
book and that way then it's kind of like
a cheap book you know like if oh if I
want to make such-and-such I can just go
to that and know exactly what it calls
for how to make it so our own little
recipe book but I'm put it on this
because it'll be easier to just put into
our kitchen drawer and have that at our
hands well my hands not his so that way
we can do have that so I can do more
dinners and stuff so anyways yeah that's
that is that we didn't do any more
really um Omar's been extra cranky the
last two days and I don't know if he's
if it's just age like he's just kind of
going through it or what's kind of going
on but he's just been a little extra on
the crankier side so um
we decided to just come home and call it
a day because he is just not having it
just not anyways and then I hope
everybody that watched my cleaning video
enjoyed it yes I got lots and lots of
messages of how filthy dirty that
stove range was so when I moved in that
Stonebridge was brand new we've been
here six years but it was brand-new I
mean pretty brand new and that is our
doing that is our doing but what
happened was and there's no excuse but I
had there is an excuse to a point what
happened was is me and oli were doing
Jam and somehow when we were doing the
jam the jelly juice stuff overflowed and
it just kind of baked itself on there so
we I guess you could say we were lazy
and didn't wipe it up when it happened
and it just has sat there it really
hasn't done anything I'm surprised it
didn't really draw ants to it you would
think maybe it would but it didn't but
you know it's not that we're filthy
people or we're disgusting or you know
that we allow our house to be filthy
it's just it's that one cleaning item
that you just don't want to deal with
that's in line that's our household but
I did tackle it I took all of your
guys's great generous generosity
opinions and encouragement and yeah and
constructive criticism and some
criticism and I put it all in a bowl I
mixed it up and that's what my stove
came out to be it all came very very
clean there's a little bit of the black
that is still there but I am gonna use a
couple people's suggestions and I will
go and get some SOS pads and a few
things like that but I need to get those
from my other store because the SOS pads
were out at Walmart and then I also want
to get some actual like oven cleaner to
clean inside the oven and stuff because
I didn't get to do that part and then
also I want to be able to clean the
outside of the oven because I got the
whole top
heart done and half of the top of the
outer part but I didn't get the full
bottom so I want to do that but the
microwave got scrubbed the oven got or
the stove got Stroud scrubbed but the
oven inside did not so that's gonna be
another another fun thing for me to
tackle but yeah I mean I get it you know
people look at that in his like holy
crap
you know that's disgusting and to most
eyes yes it is but I knew what was on
there so it wasn't disgusting to me and
I was showing you guys anyways that I
was cleaning it and getting it back to
the way it should be so I'm not ashamed
of it you know I'm not ashamed of the
things that I share with you guys
because I'm always working to change
things that I'm always working to make
myself better so I don't stick around in
the pond of no ambition I always have
the next foot in front of me already to
make the next change so you know and you
could say well then what about your
weight and what about your health and
you know that foot kind of lingers a
little bit behind I'm being honest it is
lingering a little bit behind but you
know what it's alright it is alright I
am working on it I am doing it I am
doing it I can definitely say that
things have really changed around here
the last week with me and my eating and
anyways
gosh that Sun is like coming right down
in between my curtains but I have been
making some major strides on changing
but you know what right now I am not at
a place where I want to really talk in
depth of what I have been doing or what
the changes are just yet because I don't
want
to sabotage myself or sabotage my
achievements that I have been making by
telling you guys too soon so I am
working very hard on doing a few things
and getting some stuff organized and
getting my life back organized you know
and you know and as you guys have all
been on this journey with me you guys
know that my life has changed and has
done a complete 180 between you know
Ollie going and getting an outside job
me being you know now the complete 100%
homemaker to you know being the the
preschool teacher to the mommy to to the
nurse to the everything that everybody
else normally on a normal day basis most
people do do these tasks but for me I
have not had to do a mall by myself I've
had the luxury of having my husband here
to help me hand in hand but I've taken
all that back on myself and I am very
proud of myself for doing this and not
not doing this but also allowing myself
the compassion that I might need to to
give myself a break or need be meaning
like for instance when I'm cooking if my
back is hurting I'm gonna said I'm not
going to push through and stand and kill
myself I'll not kill myself literally
but you know hurt myself just to stand
and make a mill so that I'm not sitting
on camera why am I gonna do that
why am I going to do something that I
would not normally do just because I'm
filming and that's the thing is I am
very authentic to you guys I am very
true to you I will not lie to you guys I
have no reason to so if I have to sit to
cook I would only show that on camera
because that's what I'm doing if I was
standing and cooking on camera even
though I was hurting really bad
and normally I would sit but just for my
filming I stand up that's not being
honest with you guys that's not saying
hey look at I'm struggling my back hurts
and I'm gonna sit and be comfortable and
enjoy my cooking experience and be able
to really you know dive in and and enjoy
this whole experience versus okay I've
got to set up a show and lie to my
subscribers and make them believe that I
stand up while I cook because that's
what they want to see or that's where
I'm not going to be criticized even
though I do get criticized and even
though I get told help out of a person I
am because I can't stand and cook okay
that still does not make me less of a
person but more I think it should show
you guys how honest I want to be with
you guys
even though I may you know get get you
know criticized for it it's still worth
it to me to be honest with you guys and
say hey you know this is where I'm at
physically this is where I met
emotionally this is where I'm at or
mentally this is where I'm at I want to
be as honest and true to you guys
because I don't want to be somebody that
puts on a fake show for the camera I'm
not trying to be a fake person to just
get my views I don't want that to be Who
I am
so in return when I'm sitting or when
I'm sitting and working out or when or
when I you know maybe eat something
that's not a hundred percent it you know
not a hundred percent what I should be
eating at least I'm eating it and I'm
showing you not that I really have eaten
on camera cuz I really haven't much but
at least I'm still showing you guys what
I am doing rather than oh I'm gonna stay
here and eat an apple right now but when
I get off the camera I'm gonna go and
eat a Hershey bar you know it
doesn't pan out that's me lying to you
so wouldn't you rather see me eating in
that Hershey bar cuz that's what I'm
gonna do when I get off camera right I
mean I'm just using that as an example
so it's the same concept that I'm trying
to say is that everything that I do in
my life I will do it on my camera if I'm
filming to show you guys who I truly am
and what I really am and what I'm doing
now I think that I have grown a far
distance from the whole
you know binge eater you know I think
that that is something I struggled with
at some point in my life however I don't
struggle with that anymore I'm not a
binge eater I don't I don't sit and
binge eat now do I choose foods that I
probably shouldn't eat absolutely not
all the time but I do but it doesn't
mean that I'm a binge eater because I
just like to eat sometimes I mean I I'm
a human hello it's there call it as it
it's does that mean that I'm not on
sometimes some medications to help ease
other situations in my body and in what
I'm dealing with and facing absolutely I
you know I take medicine for my
depression I take medicine for my mood
stabiliser
I take medicine for my my it's not
really my blood pressure so much as it
is for my gosh what is it for it helps
with blood pressure but it also helps
with something else I cannot remember
what it was that he's treating it for my
head but anyways so you know there are
medicines that I am on to help with
things but I'm very very faithful with I
take my medicine when I'm supposed to I
check in with my doctor every six weeks
you know I checking in with my therapist
every week I'm very responsible when it
comes to those things but also I'm very
response
I'm telling you guys hey this is what
I'm being treated for right now
hey this is what is going on right now
and this is where I matter this is what
I'm feeling and not to where I would say
those things and not be honest and true
to you guys about it like it just
wouldn't happen me Ashley and smashed
him he got two shots today and then they
also scheduled him for his appointment
to get fixed to lose his manhood he is
nine pounds you guys not nine pounds
when he started out here he was three
pounds he is nine nine pounds and he
loves toast but yeah he's amazing he's
still doing it Oh Sebastian Michael yeah
when he started here he was three pounds
three pounds
Sebastian stopped three pounds he is now
nine pounds nine pounds and loves some
toes he knows how to roll when you tell
him to roll he'll roll he is 100%
potty-trained like that he he did that
right away
uh-uh no anyway he he was trained right
away Esther don't please so so yeah he's
he's doing good doctors said that he's
doing amazing his fur looks gorgeous she
said his teeth look amazing
we're now in the process of switching
him over to an adult cat food right now
he's sawing kitten food
it's why he is that's why he's gaining
weight like he is because he's on kitten
food anyways okay you guys I'm going to
cut it here it's getting a little bit
later my kids are starting to need my
attention so it's hard for me to go but
I hope you guys are having a wonderful
wonderful day and a great coming to an
end of your week as mine starts tomorrow
and I will check it with you guys Pratt
and shiny tomorrow morning no I don't
say that anymore but I will check in
with you and I'll check in with you real
soon until then talk to you guys later
[Music]